Crispy Banana's Blog

Benjamin, oh Benjamin..Happy Birthday

2011-12-16T23:39:00.000-08:00

The man is undeniably gorgeous. just something nice to look at today. :)

lol... its funny because it's true

2011-10-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

my heart is the puppy on the leash that doesn't know any better, despite its very intelligent brainy "human" owner.

Tim Burton

2011-07-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

I got excited and thought my image was all over the web, but as it turns out, it was just the easiest place to catch an image of the piece and lots of people took the same shot.

Pokemon Meme. funny AND gross

2011-07-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

2011-07-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

hahahahaha.... same face as humans. i think that is why it's funny.

et tu, internets?

2011-07-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

and now for some completely unrelated items

2011-07-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

I wanted to get that piercing but don't want to deal with the scars they will leave.

i Like the idea of a tattoo on my ear, but let's get serious. . . .

i want to carve money like that but i'd rather spend it.

IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE. . .

2011-07-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

is it safe? no? okay.. how do i do this?

2 shirtless guys and more randomness

2011-07-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

Fez or Rob Lowe? What's it gonna be?

NAKED PICTURES OF BENJAMIN BRATT?

2011-07-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

YES PLEASE. EVEN HE SAYS SO.

i've actually said this once before

2011-07-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

are you really surprised?

sometimes i upload nonsense...

2011-06-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

like, everyday.

you can't resist laser cat, if we are being honest.

mostly jacked....

2011-06-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

awesome celebrity photos from some website that magically has all these old snapshots of celebrities that look like they knew what hipsters were before they existed.

thats Angelina Jolie, Andy Warhol (and friends) Andrew Dice Clay and Patrick Dempsey, and two really cool pictures of Alfred Hitchcock

my particular brand of crazy

2011-06-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

He does seem a little off... His characters all have a certain something that seem to be beyond the character, like something about him is shining through. he's strange, and I like it.

relax Peta

2011-06-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

i would never do it! it's just a funny shirt.

and now

2011-06-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

5 images that bear no connection to one another!

or do they .. . . . . . .?

no. they don't.

Comic Simpsons

2011-06-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

Eh, just something to look at. Burns is creeeepyyyy

demotivational, i believe they are called?

2011-06-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

just a few random ones I collected over a couple of weeks.

some dark art.

2011-06-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know, these all invoke dark feelings for me

kitty kat von d

2011-06-21T23:49:00.000-07:00

she's hot with the red hair.

It's cool- she's a pretty fair representation of Argentinian women... tall, dark features, masculine in a very sexy intimidating way. . . .

I like her blazer, I wonder what circus she bought it from?

I actually do really like it, that wasn't me being a bitch. I want to know where I can find something like that.

lolzdoggiez

2011-06-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

this is just gratuitous and unnecessary...

black and white

2011-06-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

it's my thing, baby.

just some ridiculously artsy and gorgeous shots I came across on the web. Are you kidding me with this shot of Robert DeNiro? Perfection. (Taxi Driver, in case you actually had to ask)

Mickey Rourke

2011-06-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Mickey Rourke: yes.

Sylvia Ji

2011-06-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

Found out about Sylvia Ji through a friend from highschool. Beautiful portraits of women with elaborate sugarskull makeup. maybe i'll try this for halloween

I miss London

2011-06-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

too bad you're a nutter

2011-06-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

cuz you are kinda cute, Billy Zane

is it wrong that i was attracted to him in a movie where he was a sleazebag cheating on his wife with a young girl who was horribly unattractive, and he was also a recovering addict? is that so wrong?

laugh, today?

2011-06-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

the average Argentine

2011-06-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

This is the average Argentinian face of both a man/woman

They use a collection of low opacity images and overlayed them so that they common features would be like tracings over and over until a discernible face was developed enough to prove that the average person over there looks this particular way. It's pretty cool

kewlio

2011-06-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

facebook icon images for those of you that like to stay "lowkey"

for the music lovers

2011-06-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

two cool images i picked up on the scattered interwebs.

what do beavis, Patrick, and Stan Smith have in common?

2011-06-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

real life cartoons (rendered through photoshop)

super creepy, gotta say.

cool tricks!

2011-06-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

i should try this one day. i carve designs into lime but nothing this cool.

lolz.

2011-06-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

twilight lolz. sparkly jerks get no action.

the birth machine

2011-06-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

The birth machine, HR Giger.

i dont know

2011-06-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

this kind of makes my stomach hurt... they look weird.

that's right, i set women back all the time

2011-06-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

deliciously evil, how could I resist. I think its really pretty silly to get offended by this.

formspring.me

2011-06-06T07:56:00.001-07:00

Ask me some stuff, anything was too vague and I was bound to not answer a lot of them. http://formspring.me/CrispyBanana

its true

2011-06-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

so eat some shit, please

it's called a tic tac

2011-06-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

dickfuck

its true, the arms are really quite ridick.

HIPSTER IAGO!

2011-06-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

what a douche. but actually, its true.

well.... i've done at least AS bad

2011-06-03T22:57:00.000-07:00

A man called me for an interview for a new job and Instead of Charles I called him Charlie. Oops.

yea. i get confused too.

2011-06-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

maybe this is taking it too far

2011-06-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

what can I say, I am a habitual line stepper.

she has the best boyfriend in the world and he looks like Justin Bieber.

I think it's the wording chosen by the person that unleashed this image to the world that made my laugh so hard. good job, person.

oh, frye, so clueless.

2011-06-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

get high

2011-06-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

its june 1st, why not?

unsourced pictures I really like

2011-05-31T23:38:00.000-07:00

Rhys Owens

2011-05-31T22:32:00.000-07:00

superpowers

2011-05-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

me and my friends were talking about superpowers a couple of weeks ago. . . why didn't i think of this one?!?!?!

this one time in high school i warned this girl if she didnt leave me alone i'd stick a gluestick up her nose. She didn't believe me, and i totally meant it. glue stick went up her nose....

what, i act on impulse!! like you don't???

besides, it was water based.

On a more serious note.

2011-05-31T21:27:00.001-07:00

My friend Nelson is running for Autism- visit his page and support- whether you'd like to donate or buy a wristband or something else from his online store- check out his page- as well as his tumblr page (which has some cool photos and art):

ridiculous

2011-05-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

i could put clothes on my dog.

art

2011-05-30T18:07:00.001-07:00

if you want to take a break from this silly blog, this is my art via facebook. "C Mamanna" feel free to share, skip it, or just enjoy it on your own!

art

2011-05-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

if you want to take a break from shoes, this is my art via facebook. feel free to share, skip it, or just enjoy it on your own!

love these

2011-05-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

i want ice scream

2011-05-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

mmmm face ice

yup.

2011-05-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

this describes me to a tee. backseat comp user. I hate watching someone take the slow way. lol.

keep it real, spotted seal.

2011-05-29T23:29:00.001-07:00

animal goodbyes!

haha OK

2011-05-29T23:26:00.001-07:00

ive both sent and received "haha ok" so many times... and yes, this is what it means.

duhhhh

2011-05-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

its not ripe yet

awesome unsourced art again

2011-05-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

sorry. just really liked it.

will ferrell is funnier

2011-05-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

they are twins. they were copied. i'd be mad if I had to wear the ctrl+v shirt. i'd wanna be the C.

the furniture is out to get us.

2011-05-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

yes. i kick shit all the time. worst thing i kicked was the metal radiator in my livingroom. it was almost as if my foot was magnetically drawn to it, because the force with which my small pinky toe FLEW into it was rather amazing. I'm pretty sure my toe was broken and i just walked it off.

Plus this last week i misstepped scraped the skin on the sole of my foot on a bed frame. awesome. it feels really nice, really.

great marketing ideas and business cards

2011-05-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

i'd buy what they were selling.

wet dream tomato

2011-05-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

its true... misheard lyrics...

There is a funny website for misheard lyrics... anyone have a favorite to share?

NiN (CLoser) chorus: I want a duck shaped like a triangle
You give a toaster to Bob

sea creature funny

2011-05-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

when i went to the Dominican Republic I swam with dolphins. the dolphin didn't like the piercing I was told to take out (and did not listen) and decided to ram his snout into my stomach. that was fun. mostly terrifying. also, dolphins stink.

street games

2011-05-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

I want to live the street version of everything.

street bartending is where i smash the beer bottle on the bar and stab someone in the neck and then collect my tips. for example.. . . .

street versions of shopping: take a rabid herd of vicious dogs into a store unleashed and let them rip everyone apart while i "shop"

Polly scared of the dark!

2011-05-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

for me it's turn the light off in one room and sprint down the hallway to the other room with light. my apartment in the darkness is like a portal to hell. its terrifying and the strange noises are haunting.

why the hell do they call Parrots Polly?
a. is it actually Pauly, and the first guy to teach a bird how to talk was named Pauly?
b. is it actually Polly, and the first girl to teach a bird how to talk was named Polly?
c. is it Poly, like multiple? (languages?)
d. a completely useless thing to think about

this is factual

2011-05-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

and they could not have found a better way to illustrate it.

p.s. the other day i said animate instead of illustrate when asking who was making the art for a children's book.. clearly a mistake.. and i was corrected in such a "matter of fact" way that i wanted to punch a hole in the wall. that's a normal reaction, right?

the coupon queen

2011-05-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

My good friend and family member Dawn is a financial guru, when it comes to shopping for the most basic needs: Food.

I know who i'm hitting up for the zombie apocalypse- her cabinets are STACKED

http://useyourchangepurse.blogspot.com/2011/05/2nd-grade-math-comes-in-handy.html?spref=fb

She has already told me two stories where she collected groceries worth between 40 and 60 and it ended up that the supermarket OWED HER MONEY!!!!!!!

be smart! learn from a couponer!!!

2011-05-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

Bill Murray at the Liquor Store

Jan 12, 08:06

“Absolutely no bullshit here. It was a slow day at the liquor store i work at. My manager was taking a smoke break around back. Bill Murray walked in. he was wearing big shades and a hat. he didn’t want to be noticed. he asked where our grain alcohol was. i was dumbfounded. i loved bill murray’s work. i grew up on ghostbusters. the life aquatic is one of the few movies that makes me bawwww like an infant. i couldn’t even think of how i could begin to praise him, so instead i pointed out the everclear. he took a pint off the shelf, put a mouth ful in his mouth, pulled out a lighter, and shot a flame in the middle of the store. he slapped a twenty on the counter and whispered, ‘No one’s gonna believe you.’”

via

hipset

2011-05-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

hipset was a typo but its kinda funny

hipsters love to pretend they are not hipsters, and then there are the other hipsters that fucking love it. i bet a hipster made this jerk image, forever ruining the little mermaid for me.

original hipsters: Fiona Apple, Napolean Dynamite, Hansel

hmm

2011-05-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

like a pigeon eating fried chicken on the corner..

or a puppy wearing fur...

or kanye west eating a piece of shit?

a pug wearing pug slippers... too hilarious to NOT post.

yea

2011-05-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

this joke was on that show Raising Hope... I wonder who really came up with it. I am really bothered when a show gets props for a funny joke thats been around forever.. It must really piss off the guy who actually made it up.

puddles

2011-05-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

This one morning I woke up to a riddle...

There was a huge puddle of water that was right in front of the kitchen table.
No sign of anything.
We checked the fridge, a toppled over cup, etc... Nothing..

Finally we looked at the table, and sitting pretty was an empty ice bag as saggy as a 90 year old nutsack.

Scientists cure cancer, but no one takes notice

2011-05-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Scientists cure cancer, but no one takes notice

RDJR

2011-05-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

He will always get the business. He is charming and funny. That is irrelevant to this image dump but dump a day, and I have to write some sort of comment.

i guess i COULD complain a LITTLE less

2011-05-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

this is how i always think

2011-05-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

be afraid if i ever get on the road.

Oh Disney

2011-05-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

disney, wtf...

Disney is so extremely oversexed... Someone keeps getting away with these little pranks, but DISNEY HAS TO SEE IT!! They must be doing it on purpose.

what a cool blog

2011-05-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

What a cool idea! I want letters from around the world too. Check this out

they do nothing!!

2011-05-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

its true. goggles always were useless and burned my cornea to the core everytime.

fucking pool water.

Miss, would you please step out of the car?

2011-05-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

This one time. . . .

I decided to trust online dating... This was more in the time of online casual hookup, or meeting, though. NOT a match.com scenario. I met this guy who was relatively mysterious, and also DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. SO hot it should be illegal. (I shot myself in the ass, on that one). He was 6'4, well built, beautiful tan skin, salt and pepper hair, and dimples and a smile to DIE for... He's got a few nicknames, but none of this does him any justice. (pun intended, lawl)

So following a few weeks of online exchanges, casual talk, getting to know each other style shit shooting, we decided to meet up.
He picks me up in my neighborhood (Not on my block! what if he was gross or ugly, and what if someone I knew saw us?!?) and we proceeded to drive to dinner... Two lights later, we are pulled over. YAY.

Somehow, his mortification was enough for the both of us, because this was probably one of the most awkward situations Ever. I got in his pants on the first date- LITERALLY because since he was cuffed (expired license, and I don't even know what else) I was nice enough to reach into his pants to get his cell phone to call his brother. I don't remember the exact conversation but it was along the lines of

"Hi, it's ****'s friend Christie, and he has to talk to you but can't hold the phone" (I know I chose my words stupidly) and held the phone up for him as he told his brother the long winded story and I tried desperately not to listen to the details.

So, two blocks away from where I live, I had to watch him get placed into custody and have his car taken away, and then walk away from ONE of the most unfulfilled dates ever. Notice I said ONE of, but not the worst. Just thought I ought to point that out.

Oh, and by the way- there was a second date. And actually, several more months of dating to follow. Ultimately it did not work out, but as far as I know he is NOT doing time.

This entry was inspired by a new blog I just read, which you can read here

Let me know where we lie on level of entertainment, so I know whether this was a wasted entry or at least a bit entertaining.

By the way, in case you wanted to tell me I have awful taste in men, I already know.

skee lo

2011-05-08T21:47:00.001-07:00

facebook funny

2011-05-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

only relevant to facebook. when facebook dies, so will this joke

didn't really think that one through...

2011-05-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

or did they?

You rule at the Alphabet

2011-05-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Dang, i wish I'd thought of this.

buzztron

2011-05-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

buzz just gave mad geeks woody.

beautiful image.

2011-05-03T21:16:00.001-07:00

no clue of its sources. just like it, is all.

STUMBLE SILK

2011-05-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

I HAD TO UPLOAD IT SO I COULD DELETE THE ORIGINAL FILE. HERE IT IS. SORRY!

DO I WANT TO BE ON A REALITY SHOW?

2011-05-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . .

Richard Gere, OKAY

2011-04-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

Classically hot.... undeniable.

NAKED PICTURE OF KE$HA?

2011-04-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

zombie FAQ

2011-04-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

i am obsessed with the imminent zombie apocalypse. You should be too.

they will bite the fuck out of you.

Bjork DUMP

2011-04-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

just because I adore her, and came across two great pictures of her.

check out the other blog... if you like shoes.

2011-04-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

Crispy's Shoes

This blog is a series of entries of my shoe collection, and commentary on celebrity and stranger's shoes. entertaining if you like that sort of thing.

ST PATRICKS DAY DUMP

2011-04-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS IS IMPLIED... I JUST WONDER IF THIS WAS PHOTOSHOPPED OR IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID THIS... IF SO... OUCH...

lolz...

2011-04-28T10:13:00.001-07:00

both quite accurate.

DAILY POOP

2011-04-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY. . . . AND PRETTY INAPPROPRIATE...

QUESTIONS, COMMENTS?

sessy time

2011-04-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

Benjamin Bratt, gratuitous man deliciousness of the day.

romeo, romeo. . . .(Happy Birthday)

2011-04-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

i was gonna say where for art thou Romeo, but that's not her asking where he is... That's Juliet asking WHY is is Romeo... WHY is ROMEO his name. . . . (yea, i dropped that knowledge on you, that happened...)

Indian Mehndi- It's beautiful, I think i'm going to try it out.

2011-04-26T14:36:00.001-07:00