Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hollywood magic and acting at its finest.

wouldn't you agree?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

nothing quite as refreshing as some Jim faces.

I know you agree.

Show and tell!

Some pictures of a fun night out, involving Hancock, several bars, even more drinks, and two of my favorite people

Monday, July 28, 2008

For my sister

I am sure you appreciate this

fail owned pwnd pictures
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sorry, i'm having too much fun with these images right now. I suppose I could blog about several all at once, but this is much more fun to do.

fail owned pwnd pictures
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let's forget the pverzealous creepy kid thats probably her brother (incest, gross) in the background...what is she thinking? she looks like an insane person that works out. Sure you are in great shape, but now that we think its because you have vigorous sex with a little boy and your abs have developed because you have to chase him around the house to make it happen, are your abs impressive? Not so much.

all i need in life sometimes.

what is going on.

fail owned pwnd pictures
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i mean obviously it was intentional by the person that made it this way. more importantly, i initially thought that it was some corny techie joke and that they were supposed to be mice for a computer...because..i'm a total dunce. sorry dot com.

uh oh.. inappropriatedot com

fail owned pwnd pictures
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Friday, July 25, 2008

Classic...haven't heard this in awhile!

they wouldn't let me embed it.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


My sister catches me saying the funniest things.

read her blog (its short and sweet)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cover songs.

I love cover songs. Many of them. Often times, I love surprising choices.

Exhibit A:

I love Tom Waits. Scarlett Johansson does too, apparently. She covered a whole bunch of his songs for her pseudo singing career's premiere album. (everyone in Hollywood can sing now I guess)

First one I heard: Falling down... I'll admit, the first time I listened to it, I was slightly horrified.
I listened a few more times, and it kind of grew on me. It's on my regular playlist now.
His version:

Her version:

Then I heard "I don't wanna grow up" and I had to sing to myself "I don't wanna throw up (but i will eventually because that was hideous and I HATED it"... So she covered both Tom Waits and the Ramones POORLY... (you win some, you lose some...) Anyway I'm sure she doesn't give a crap, shes pretty much the hottest chick in Hollywood, is marrying freaking HOT ASS Ryan Reynolds, and shes filthy rich, i'm sure... I might throw caution to the wind for an additional money maker like an album too, if I was in her position.

Seriously though, her version sucks.

I don't know, it's like a cheap 80's dance track made in someone's basement. Honestly, its weird, cuz her voice sounds a little better in this track, but I just HATE what she did with the song.
It sounds like it came off a Kids Incorporated album or something. No thanks.

Monday, July 21, 2008

You make me...

You make me want to make a pencil disappear. Go away.

Friday, July 18, 2008

the Dark Knight

Let's begin with this:

Me and my favorite movie buddy went to the 3:30AM showing at Lincoln Square. I got onto fandango too late yesterday and the midnight shows were all sold out, Cest La vie. SO THE FUCK WHAT!!! It's crazy, we got to my house about 10pm after he got out of work and fell asleep after a few hours, only to wake up at 2:45am and "contemplate" whether or not we would make it to the movie. We contemplated until about 3:15 and then hopped our asses to a cab and made our way to lincoln square, to the awesome Loews theatre. we got good seats even though when I called the theater earlier that night they said there was a line for the 3:30 showing since midnight, we got good seats, didnt wait on any lines like a couple of jackasses, and came RIGHT on time for the previews. Oh, we made it alright.

Want some of the movie experience? Here are some of the trailers we got to see:

Christian Bale in Terminator Salvation

Leo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe

Watchmen trailer, but we got a much better look than you will see below

I feel like there was one more, but I am drawing a blank because im too busy thinking about how much ass Heath Ledger kicked in that movie. He killed FUCKING EVERYONE!!!

The Dark Knight blew my fucking mind.

I mean this in the most respectful way ever: Heath Ledger truly went down with guns blazing. That movie reminded me what good acting is. What commitment to a role is. What total bad assery is all about.
He fully put Jack Nicholson and any other actors that ever attempted joker TO SHAME.

The movie had me fully into it from the very beginning scene. It was non stop amazing and sick and funny and clever and like 7928232 kinds of awesome.

Aaron Eckhart as two face? Wow... his character wasn't as interesting as Heath Ledger, but the overall appearance of two face was so fully disgusting!!!!

Dear sweet little Maggie Gyllenhaal, I adore her too. Her character was like any other female in the batman movies. I won't say anymore than that.

Look out for these scenes for the ultimate bad assery:

-Opening scene, fully absurd. School bus.

-The scene with the bad guys in the basement- namely "the pencil"

-the hospital, funny guys in drag.

Seriously, I wish that movies like the Dark Knight were taken seriously enough, because Heath Ledger deserves some sort of post mortem Oscar commemoration thing for this role. He definitely made the movie.

Comish Gordon: I FUCKING LOVE GARY OLDMAN. Between Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, and Heath Ledger, this movie was destined for greatness. Aaron Eckhart is pretty cool too. I mean lets just think about what an oddball cast ensemble this is, and then let me tell you that you have no idea what you are getting yourselves into.

Won't get into these guys too much, but Michael Caine is always awesome, Maggie Gyllenhall is awesome too (Secretary: put it on your must see list) Cillian Murphy was in the movie for like 2.5 seconds, but Murphy is so damn creepy his eyes burned through my skull and into my brain enough that I remember his moment in the movie. Nestor Carbonell is cool cuz he is from Lost, even though I think he was channeling Jack Sparrow with the eyeliner and mascara...Oh, and did I fail to mention that fucking DEEBO is in the movie?? seriously?!??!?! Friday's Deebo has a damn cameo in the movie. And fucking Morgan Freeman. He wasn't even narrating, he was just in the movie being all Morgan Freeman-y.

Christian Bale, last, but not least. Hot cubed. He is the best batman, hands down. No cheesiness (thank god) and I had a hard time ignoring his lisp, but still got over it because hes a badass with a great voice (did he really do the raspy thing the whole time without any voice altering devices?)

Umm...yea, i might go see it at least once more in the Imax. When you see it, come back and tell me how much you worship Heath Ledger's ass kicking skills.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

what the helllll...

i can't even say it as well as hotmess
just go check out what they had to say about this disaster...

ill give you a few hints.

In Living color. Jim Carrey. Vera DeMilo. Bodybuilder hopped up on juice. ROIDED out. lol...

p.s. shes not sexy, dont try to say she is.

What means the world to you?

hahahahhahahahahaha before cam'ron the cabron stopped eating... lol
this song is really kind of hilarious.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Yup, I got it.

Sunburn, that is. not unlike these:



Nice, right? yea... I never seem to learn. I think it might be because when I went to Punta Cana I got this gorgeous amazing tan...I guess that was a tropical sun kinda thing. I guess Rockaway beach doesn't care about my beautiful amazing tan from the Dominican Republic. I guess I am a lobster at heart. I just want to know, why my gorgeous chinky eyed abuelita from the damn mountains in Cuenca has this beautiful tanned olive complexion, and why I am pasty mcgee!!! why!!!! I was just coming to terms with it saying how its great how I have this porcelain pinup complexion..and then i remembered how nice tans look. dammit, dammit all to hell.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

my humble opinion..

I should start relying on this quote. I can relate, and it's Marilyn.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

for the record...

You stupid redheaded ginger asshole, you both fit on the raft/floating door. Or maybe you coulda both hung off it together and peed on each other, back and forth (for warmth).... maybe you shoulda taken it easy on those petit fours and biscuits, bitch. (damn' daywalkin son of a jackal)

Cut to "ill never let go, jack. I'll never let go" (and then immediately lets go)


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Christie's Adventures with sour milk.

I should just go on Fear Factor.

Yesterday I decided I wanted to enjoy a drakes coffee cake. They were sitting nicely on top of my fridge in the box asking to be devoured. So I went to take one, and then went to the fridge to pour myself some milk. Two containers of milk were there. An opened one, and an unopened one.
I opted for the open one, because it seemed to be the right choice. I looked at it, the date said sell by July 3rd. I thought to myself, "self, its only July 1st". I opened the milk. I smelled it. It smelled very strange. I said to myself... "Self, this milk smells funny". Then I did a taste test. Because I decided since it said July 3rd, it was impossible that anything could possibly be wrong with the milk.

WRONG. Failure to the tenth power. It was quite sour. Wanna hear whats worse? I took that sip with my head in the fridge, and my mind was working too slowly to run to the sink to spit it out. So...What did I do? I cringed, made all sorts of faces, swished it around in my mouth...and then... I swallowed it. I swallowed sour milk. Do they even audition for fear factor anymore? Come on....Sour milk has gotta be up there on the gross meter.

Best part, I think, was when after I pretty much swallowed it all, i went to the sink to spit out residue, and then poured out the remaining sour milk into the sink. It splashed on me a little. Lovely.

I guess I should be glad the milk wasn't chunky (ala Life with Mikey) I definitely just spent an extra 10 minutes on the post trying to find a link from a clip of that movie, and failed miserably. Two failures.