Tuesday, April 8, 2008

when i'm lyin in bed all night...(I don't wanna grow up)

That's right folks, I don't wanna grow up.

I'm a 23 year old child. Maybe I am recently regressing to child like behaviour, i'm not sure..
Remember being little? I remember being little and having very little to care about in the world other than finding that barbie shoe or getting some new markers or usually just staying up long enough for Friday night tv and then waking up early enough for Saturday morning tv...

I remember most of my childhood being spent wanting to be an artist...Make beautiful things and sell them, and in my head it was the easiest thing to do...I was encouraged to do it...what more could you ask for?
Then the world around me got involved...I was a little chubb my whole life, and naturally, being so far from the mold of what one should look like, I wanted to be a model. I wanted to be a movie star, a famous celebrity, and eventually that all developed into being someone that made tons of money and it didn't even matter what I was actually going to be.
Somewhere in the back of my mind always, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to make beautiful things for people to buy and for it to be easy. I always wanted to be "discovered" the way you see on tv how those damn famous people just walk down the street and someone snatches them up and makes them ridiculously famous. It all seems so easy sometimes, so wheres that damn mini mall so I can start gettin discovered? (Because in my mind, someone will walk by me and imagine that I MUST know how to use a paintbrush and I MUST somehow know how to paint and make beautiful things to sell and that it would be super easy and we could all be rich of off something I love to do) sigh. These cycles of artist, famous, celebrity, singer, moviestar (pretty much anything that involved fame and fortune) just continued on and on and never really died down...

I'm 23 now. I am a personal assistant. My art is on the back burner (if I can even give it that much attention) I finished high school (barely, and ironically, I LEFT...as in VOLUNTARILY before I was supposed to, I LEFT LaGuardia, the school for performing and fine arts...how ridiculous does that sound?)
Fresh out of high school, I started my path to fame and fortune at Blockbuster. Makes sense right? Yea, $8.50 an hour and free rentals... I was LIVING THE DREAM, BIG time...
Blockbuster turned in to getting my EMT license (never got my drivers license...) If I cant entertain lives, save them? I never actually worked as an EMT....Naturally, after one tries to be an EMT, the next stop is bartending school. Yes, that is pretty much as oxymoronic as a term can get. So am I a bartender/artist/celebrity?
Couldn't get a job at a bar. Not for lack of trying though...
Unemployed bartender turned into employee of Circuit City and that magically turned into office manager for a management company...I lasted there for about a year and that magically turned into real estate agent. Real estate agent turned into NOT working, not working turned into Bloomingdales, bloomingdales turned into more not working, not working turned into Commerce Bank, and commerce turned in to personal assistant, and here I am.

So I suppose this can be the blog that you read similar to the Truman Show...updates on the life of a "brittle second fiddle" (thesaurus' version of crispy banana)

I think next week I will be an astronaut. stay tuned.

1 comment:

l. said...

I like the idea of a) you being an astronaut and b) you wandering the "mini-mall" to be discovered. What mini mall were you walking in? We grew up in Manhattan!!