Friday, April 11, 2008

I might be embarrased, I'm not sure

Yea, and it's all because I have a BIG. FAT. CRUSH. on...Robert Downey Jr.

Yea, he makes me feel funny in my pants.

IronMan? im there opening night.

Robert Downey Jr, if you read this: call me.

Anyone with me, here?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

let me tell you bout my bessstttt friend

First best friend: my sister. Leonor.
It was a love/hate thing.
She was bossy, i bit her. We played Barbies. She had the most awesome barbie MANSION ever, and my Barbies had an apartment complex. (the closet in our playroom) Yea, thats right bitches. We had a fuckin playroom!! jealous? Yea, i thought so. Then she grew up, and wandered into her wonderful teenage years. Mandi was born and at first i spent most of the time wanting to kick her cute little face in, but as Leo and I grew apart, me and Mandi grew closer. she was my mini partner in crime, and i tortured her like a good big sister should.

Kindergarten, it was Maria! My adorable tiny little Greek friend, who everyone used to think was my sister because we were both two little chubby brown haired girls. So apparently, that made us look alike. We stuck together pretty much all throughout elementary and junior high.

High school, me and Maria went to two diff schools and lost touch a bit...My best friend was Becky, who went to Laguardia with me, and we pretty much spent every hour at LaGuardia devising plans to get pictures of cute boys, and finding any reason at all to cut class. High school...ah, good times.

Leaving LaGuardia, I bonded with first best friend (sister Leonor's) best friend from childhood, Becky (different Becky!) and we stuck together probably from about when I was 17 and on. Definitely the person I got into the MOST trouble with, one way or another.

Time passed, and I find myself now in a new place, around new people, and thankfully have managed to get in contact with these fantastic people, and some never even really left- Maria and I reconnected, she is my friend to get drunk witH! after like 10 years I can tell her anything, and the years and space between us didnt at all change the fact that we have tons in common. I love her to death! Becky and I lost touch when I left LaGuardia, and i figured out what a great friend I lost touch with and pretty much hunted her down and made a point to hang out with her and keep in touch now. Becky # 2, lol (though I knew her first, we became friends after Laguardia Becky and i did) never faded out of the picture, we live within a few blocks (or until recently, when she moved to Jersey)... and No matter how much time passes, we speak and its like we never stopped speaking. Thank god for friends like that. The last two years have proven to be the most interesting. Paul entered my life, and quickly became someone I could say anything to- we have more in common than I find natural, and we are never bored when spending time together. I love this guy to pieces, and eventually fell IN love too (thats a story for another day) I bonded with a friend of his named Jennifer who became my right wing, she is fantastic and always fun! My friend Steven who I love dearly and always has the backbone I need to keep me sane, and my favoritest extended family Julie and Alison, my grownup friends that protect me and love me and always can cheer me up. I love them more than they know, and when i dont see them for a long time, it makes me sad :( Most amazingly still, I have found that my two best friends- the friends that stand out in my life and hold the pieces together for me and make my life OK when I think theres nothing left to grasp- Leonor and Mandi, my fantastic sisters, the ones I love more than anything else on this planet, even when they drive me crazy.
Best friends rock.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

continuation of "job blog" (still don't want to grow up)

Yea, I still don't want to grow up.

So i thought to myself....Self, why don't you ask others what they think i should be? Even if it is just for insight...Or maybe I will get an awesome job offer, you never know.

I also considered Paparazzi. they get paid a buttload just to be a major douchebag and harass people...that's their jobs. insane. what a world.

when i'm lyin in bed all night...(I don't wanna grow up)

That's right folks, I don't wanna grow up.

I'm a 23 year old child. Maybe I am recently regressing to child like behaviour, i'm not sure..
Remember being little? I remember being little and having very little to care about in the world other than finding that barbie shoe or getting some new markers or usually just staying up long enough for Friday night tv and then waking up early enough for Saturday morning tv...

I remember most of my childhood being spent wanting to be an artist...Make beautiful things and sell them, and in my head it was the easiest thing to do...I was encouraged to do it...what more could you ask for?
Then the world around me got involved...I was a little chubb my whole life, and naturally, being so far from the mold of what one should look like, I wanted to be a model. I wanted to be a movie star, a famous celebrity, and eventually that all developed into being someone that made tons of money and it didn't even matter what I was actually going to be.
Somewhere in the back of my mind always, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to make beautiful things for people to buy and for it to be easy. I always wanted to be "discovered" the way you see on tv how those damn famous people just walk down the street and someone snatches them up and makes them ridiculously famous. It all seems so easy sometimes, so wheres that damn mini mall so I can start gettin discovered? (Because in my mind, someone will walk by me and imagine that I MUST know how to use a paintbrush and I MUST somehow know how to paint and make beautiful things to sell and that it would be super easy and we could all be rich of off something I love to do) sigh. These cycles of artist, famous, celebrity, singer, moviestar (pretty much anything that involved fame and fortune) just continued on and on and never really died down...

I'm 23 now. I am a personal assistant. My art is on the back burner (if I can even give it that much attention) I finished high school (barely, and ironically, I in VOLUNTARILY before I was supposed to, I LEFT LaGuardia, the school for performing and fine ridiculous does that sound?)
Fresh out of high school, I started my path to fame and fortune at Blockbuster. Makes sense right? Yea, $8.50 an hour and free rentals... I was LIVING THE DREAM, BIG time...
Blockbuster turned in to getting my EMT license (never got my drivers license...) If I cant entertain lives, save them? I never actually worked as an EMT....Naturally, after one tries to be an EMT, the next stop is bartending school. Yes, that is pretty much as oxymoronic as a term can get. So am I a bartender/artist/celebrity?
Couldn't get a job at a bar. Not for lack of trying though...
Unemployed bartender turned into employee of Circuit City and that magically turned into office manager for a management company...I lasted there for about a year and that magically turned into real estate agent. Real estate agent turned into NOT working, not working turned into Bloomingdales, bloomingdales turned into more not working, not working turned into Commerce Bank, and commerce turned in to personal assistant, and here I am.

So I suppose this can be the blog that you read similar to the Truman Show...updates on the life of a "brittle second fiddle" (thesaurus' version of crispy banana)

I think next week I will be an astronaut. stay tuned.